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28th-Apr-2013 11:11 am(no subject)
Life is weird, pass it on.
I Know Your Body by Victor Teran - Poems - Poetry Translation Centre

I Know Your Body

by Víctor Terán

I know your body,
entirely I know you.
If you were a city
I could give perfect directions
to wherever they asked me.
I like all of your body,
I like to see you talk, laugh
move your head. Your two well-rounded hills
are the honey of bees, where my lips celebrate to the gods.
I would have liked to continue storming your forest,
lodgings made deliberately for a nice death.
You were created with love,
your body is worthy of praise. What an honor to have lived,
to have been. I am no longer bothered
when men turn to look at you,
I am no longer impatient when you undress.
You are a stag in the air. A raft of flowers
that snakes across the river by morning.

There is no part of your body that I do not know, there is no
part that I do not like. I want to keep being
the light stunned at the look of your white
roundness of flesh. I want to keep
in the beautiful city
that you are.

9th-Jun-2011 06:10 pm - Temporary Final Update
I've got the dream job. Things are finally falling into place.
I wish you all Life, Health and Prosperity.

30th-May-2011 04:29 pm - General Update
I think this lj will go dormant for a while, I may update from time to time but I have other things that occupy me nowadays. I have another spiritual blog going and I'm on Facebook a lot under Utusitusi (friend me if you want)

The appartment is absolutely great, I love living there, it's so calm and peaceful. Behind the blocks are fields and little paths meandering through them where I walk the dogs and enjoy nature.
The dogs can be a pain but on the other hand they give me so much love, it's totally worth it. The cats are doing great also, giving cuddles and purrs and exploring the neighbourhood.
I've made a great friend, who drags me off to all kinds of fun stuff - e.g. she got us invited on one of the floats at the Pride Parade (awesome!!) - and who I can really talk to. I have great contacts with my colleagues/friends and we have really great times together.
I've been to some great stuff too - WWE Raw, Cesar Millan Live - and I'm hoping to go to some summer concerts too.

Work is not so great, there's a really bad general atmosphere and rumours going around of closure. So I'm already on the lookout for a new job and got an interview next week at what might be a dreamjob. We'll see.
Finances are tight and will be tight for a few more months, I fear but should work themselves out around september/october. I hope so anyway, I want to have saved enough by next year to go to the Retreat in the US. *keeps fingers crossed* If not, I'll do it in 2013, no problem.

My spirituality is keeping me pretty busy also but it's such a source of joy and strength for me and I get so much out of it! I'm at peace now that I know I've reached the right (for me) religion and faith. The group is fantastic, intelligent, well-read, ever-expanding, active and loving and I feel very at home with them.

My daily dose of Paxil keeps me very stable and has really given me a chance to live and begin the clean-up in my head and the doc and I are trying to find a solution for my insomnia. Yay!
I feel really great, I have a new life, I'm content...happy even. I have people who love me and want to be with me, a great home, fun pets, an active social life, spirituality and generally good health.

Life is good.
5th-Apr-2011 05:02 pm - I'm still alive!

I moved into my apartment and it's awesome! It's MINE ALL MINE!!!!
There's still some minor stuff left to do but all rooms have been repainted and scrubbed, the bathroom has been renovated a bit, all mty appliances are done and I have some flowers on my balcony.
In the middle of that are two dogs and a cat ruining my new carpets and giving heaps and heaps of love. 
I'm happy.

Will post pictures later.

4th-Mar-2011 06:46 pm - ARGH!
Sweets nervous breakdown
Still alive but head-meltingly busy in the process of renovating the apartement and packing up all my shit. I'm exhausted and pretty much broke and I need a rest so bad it's making me quite weepy. But, as I have ten boxes of furniture to construct tomorrow and my brother-in-law is helping move a shitload of crap on sunday, the only time I can rest is while I'm lying awake at night with insomnia due to stress so bad not even a double dose of Ambien (or scary experimental medication cocktails) can help it.
1st-Feb-2011 12:44 am - OMFG!
I am now officially a home-owner. *head asplode*

Yay, I own an appartement!!*keels over ded*

I have a 30 year mortgage to pay off, I have an unstable job (heh economy*shrug*), two cats, a puppy and another dog in the pipeline.
*slow smile* It's gonna be awesome!

I'm happy.

Nina the insane Yorkshire mix
Gipsy, the less than impressed by puppylar violence kitty
 Cleo the headcrab kitty
27th-Dec-2010 03:48 pm - Happy Birfdays!!!

Iz my drunk birfday! woooo! I's 35! woooooooot! Bought a 'partment and an' a goggie, I's all adult and grownup like nao!
Champagne be yummies!

Fuck the rest! Fuck those who abandoned me! Fuck false friends!

WOOO! paxil rules, champagne rules! TRUE friends rule!!!!

Dua Netjer! Dua Akhu!
18th-Dec-2010 07:16 pm - Cat rescue alert
Blue Pain

A stunning smoke and coal colored tabby took refuge from the cold Georgia night. As cats have been known to do, she chose a small, dark place where she felt safe. It was warm. She could relax, at last.

Sadly, for this sweet girl, her choice was a poor one. She was under the hood of a parked car.

Not on My Watch: Don't let a tragedy turn into a fatality | Covered in Cat Hair http://bit.ly/ijED25
6th-Dec-2010 10:57 pm - Happiness is a warm puppy
Things are happening.
I gots a puppy at the pound and she's really taking all my time.

Also there's work, seasonal affective disorder and endless packing. Oh yeah, and shopping. Yay!
Shawn Michaels Showstopper
I just bought an appartment.
I think I'm kinda in shock really.

There's some work to be done in it, mostly in the bathroom but I'm intensely happy with it, mostly because I've been looking for about two years. Now, I've just gotta hold on until the sale will be finalised in -probably- february.
I've pretty much chosen the paint and I've got my IKEA shopping list ready and I'm chomping at the bit to start spending money, baby!

In other news, I'm getting a 600€ tax rebate, Woohoo! My laptop got returned unharmed, Woohoo! The issue is the power supply, so I'm gonna have to buy a new net adaptor at about 50€, grumble.
Lastly, my cat Gipsy has decided to disown me and fall in love with my parents, the traitress! So, if dad agrees I'll probably leave her with them and get a new kitten to keep Cleo entertained.

Now that the sale is signed, I think I will sleep better, it's been so stressful lately and I'm exhausted.
8th-Nov-2010 11:54 pm - kids
Critic/Spoony Stop that
Apparanyty, while I'm babysitting my sister's kids, even when I take a sleeping pill I'm still hyper-aware of every sound in the house. As there were three kids under ten and an 8-month old baby, mom helped out and she said I sproinged out of bed like a livewire the moment the baby started her cry. One of the kids visiting the bathroom made me sit up and listen too to see if everything was ok.  So my saturday night was spent comforting the baby twice and soothing the 4-year old out of a fear of the dark attack, poor little thing.
Also, mom snores.

In the mean time, my sollicitor is still completing the sale of the appartment, the deposit is ready and I'm eager to sign.
I'm getting ahead of myself but I've already started packing even though it'll probably be february before I get the keys, Netjer willing.

My laptop is getting picked up tomorrow and I'm praying they wont have to reinstall the hard drive.
3rd-Nov-2010 10:37 pm - My laptop, my friend

My laptop died.
*has nervous breakdown*
It's still under warranty so I can get HP to come pick it up and get it repaired, but they're warning me that there is a possibility that they'll wipe the HD.
*has second nervous breakdown*
I've read around on various help forums and I think it's probably a connection in the motherboard where the soldering came loose, which should be easy to fix but still...I didn't backup my stuff anywhere.
*pulls hair out of head*
I don't want the repair guys viewing my unprotected files either, although I'm sure they've seen worse than 3000 fandom pics and a bunch of bad slashy fanfic.
Wait...did I password protect my pr0n? ARGH!!!! *kidding, kidding!*

Still, SIGH! I  feel like I'm missing a limb.

As your screen began to fade & flicker
And I shut you down & closed your cover
I knew all you needed was a little rest
I am so sorry for putting you to the test
But I cannot get through a day without you
You know how much I need you in all I do
You knew I would just die without your light
Good little laptop you gave me such a fright

Tia Maria

28th-Oct-2010 12:34 pm - Holy Snotballs!
Spoony: Son of Insano


Offer is accepted! Loan is approved! Pre-sale contract is off to my sollicitor!
*runs in circles* *hyperventilates* *passes out*
26th-Oct-2010 10:06 pm(no subject)
Sweets nervous breakdown
I may actually have started the process to buy an appartment. Talking to the bank tomorrow.
Am terrified.

More later.
She Hulk annoyed
No sale on the house. I thought it over all day, because I generally liked it and the village it's in but there were a number of defects that would've requiered an important investment that I can't justify with the asking price. There was a hole in the gutter which had led to some water seepage in the attic, the bathroom was badly constructed in a cellar annex and would need to be moved. Lastly and the most important reason, the cellar suffered from rising humidity which left the brick walls wet up to a meter high.
Fixing seeping ground water and other humidity problems costs a LOT of money, more than I have.
I considered making a really low offer to see what they'd say and I guess I still might even though it'll be refused.
I'm disappointed but not desperate---yet.

14th-Oct-2010 11:51 am - Realty
Bouncy Hamster
While scouring realtor sites on the web, I may have found a house. It's within my price range, has a garden and two bedrooms, is not too far from work (train or car) and only needs minor work apparantly.
I scheduled a visit for saturday so all of you, keep your fingers crossed!
5th-Oct-2010 11:15 pm - WWE

I've watched more pro-wrestling in the last two weeks than during the three years (90-93) when I actually followed it. I think I'm overdosing but I'm still very much enjoying it.
I bought a number of DVD's which I trawling through to get caught up on the last 25 years:
The New and Improved DX - LOVE it! I'll expand on the reasons why later.
Tombstone: the History of the Undertaker - while I love the guy, I didn't like the DVD that much, I have the impression there are better matches out there then shown.
The Monday Night Wars - which I mainly bought to understand the feud between WWE and WCW. Not too bad, gives a good overview of the history and animosity.
Wrestlemania XI and XII - it was a double package and I was mainly interested in the Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels Iron Man match which I rather liked. Somewhat entertaining DVD's and a blast from the past.
The Best of Raw 15th anniversary edition - which I'm totally blanking on right now....wow....I guess I'll have to watch it again.
Best of Smackdown 10th anniversary edition - which was mmmokay. Smackdown is obviously the lesser show with some odd angles.
Life and Times of Mr Perfect - Mr Perfect is without a doubt in my top five of favourite wrestlers ever. Even back in the day when I was booing him for the heel he was, I was smart enough to admire and respect his incredible skill in the ring. He was one of the best and most entertaining preformers I've ever seen and he is dearly missed.

Still to watch: Bret Hitman Hart: The Best there is..., Shawn Michaels: My Journey and Wrestlemania 26

On my wish list: Wrestlemania 24 (mainly for the Rick Flair/HBK match), D-Generation X (because I want to see Attitude Era DX), Shawn Michaels: Heartbreak and Triumph (...),  Royal Rumble 91 and 92 (for nostalgia reasons), The Ladder Match (I've been told it's really good even though Im not overly fond of gimmick matches), Hart & Soul: Hart Family Anthology (Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Davey Boy Smith...*weeps*), Incredible Steel Cage Matches or/and Hell in a Cell: The Greatest (blood and guts matches, I like),  Chris Jericho: Breaking the Walls (from what I've seen he has a lot of skill and I like his mic work), Rey Mysterio: The biggest little man (because he's awesome!), Triple H: King of Kings (because of my interest in DX, I want to see the other half wrestle on his own), The Rock: The most electrifying man (because I smeeeeeeeell...what The Rock....is cooking!), Edge: A Decade of Decadence (because I like him and he's a good wrestler); Eddie Guerrero: Viva La Raza (because Eddie was magnificent and dearly missed), Wrestlemania 25 (Undertaker vs HBK is my only reason), and a few other minor DVD's that I might get like other Wrestlemanias, a Tag Team dvd and a Survivor Series or two.

I have issues....but I'm enjoying myself.
3rd-Oct-2010 06:47 pm - rantiness
I have nothing against mpreg but I don't like to be hit in the face with it without warning when I'm reading RPS. The fic was perhaps overly dramatic but not too bad until I got to the "Congratulations sir, you're pregnant" bit. Instant backspace action there.
There was no warning anywhere or any hint to it at all before that line.
Don't do that!
28th-Sep-2010 12:25 am - what's been going on
So yeah, I caved and even though it's only Smackdown and -apart from The Undertaker and Rey Mysterio - Smackdown mostly sucks, I got a ticket to the Belgium show of their European Tour in April. I would've preferred Raw but I don't know if they come to Europe. Anyway, now Shawn Michaels is retired and DX is long gone, it's only sadness anyway.
But I want to live the atmosphere again, after 18 years to cheer with a live show again I think (I hope) it will be great.

On a slightly more cultured note, I also caved for the Egyptian Book of the Dead expo at the British Museum in London and got myself a daytrip via Eurostar and tickets for the museum. I have high hopes of really loving it and on top of that...London Shopping!!

For the moment, I'm fostering my friend's two cats, fact which makes my parents grumpy and my cats deeply unhappy but it'll only be for a few weeks, the time she gets her life in order. They're also soooo kyuuuuuuuute! I may actually catnap them.

Further things are happening with my life; the Paxil keeps working, the Ambien works less, my house search continues, my car phobia remains so I stick with public transport, my spiritual life meanders on and I find myself surprsingly not unhappy lately. It's a strange feeling after a decade of chronic depression and about 6 months of panic attacks.
We'll see how it fares. I will never be an optimist after all.
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